Friday is Scrapple Day

Who doesn't like a loaf of ground organ meat?

Crap-- let me start over.

Having grown up just west of Philadelphia, Amish culture has permeated more than just my sense of style and Dad's sensibilities. I have recreated, to the best of my abilities, and with the aid of very sophisticated computer models, the genesis of this rare treat:

-Brother Jakob, it's nearly suppertime. What hath the Lord provided that remains in the cellar?

-I see only cornmeal, hog's head, skin, liver, and heart.

-Sweet Jehovah...

There is something so quintessentially savory and meaty about scrapple that they could probably manufacture MSG from the stuff. If I were to place it somewhere within the food pyramid, I would put it squarely in the group of things that you would only ever touch if you ate it as a child, along with vegemite and anchovies packed in oil. But seriously, talk about synergism, this concoction is way better than the sum of its parts (cornmeal. OM NOM NOM). It emerges from it's vacuum-packed stasis as a dry, grainy lump of whatever-the-hell-it-is, and you may suspect that the pan needs a touch of oil to brown this guy up-- but no. It knows, I'm telling you. Packed deep away within its gray-matterish slices is everything you need for the best breakfast you've had all month.

Scrapple

Ingredients:

Scrapple (find it in the organ-loaf aisle)

Courage

1. Slice with a sharp knife into 3/8 inch slices. Not too thick now, because there is something reassuring about knowing that fire is one of the better antiseptics.

2. Fry over medium heat -- 8-10 minutes per side or until well browned.

3. Serve with eggs and toast. Pair with orange juice.

It is somewhat vindicating that my boorish meat-eating lifestyle (read: religiosity) can nullify Mariel's self-righteousness as a vegetarienne. Also satisfying is the ability to use this blog as an excuse to purchase myself a new camera. Next up is a technology blog so that I can buy myself an iPad. Somewhat fitting, though, is the fact that now we both have the exact same camera -- thereby giving us the opportunity to create gratuitous competition where there should, in fact, be none.

Somebody open up a fire hydrant

I'm not sure about the rest of the country, but Durham went from Winter to Summer overnight. Screw you, Spring. Lucky for me, the weather has coincided perfectly with my senioritis; I've been able to spend my days sitting by the pool and playing tennis.

The weather has also given me an excuse to make this awesome Texas caviar, which was introduced to me by Julie and her friend Nicole. I didn't know what Texas caviar was and the name made me wary, but apparently it's a thing: an awesome thing. It's a delicious form of salsa that is so good we've made it four times in the last two weeks. It's refreshing, healthy (even when eaten in large quantities, and trust me, you will), and the texture goes perfectly with some blue corn chips. Another plus: it doesn't use any cilantro (that soap-tasting herb that everyone else finds necessary to over-saturate all food with). Oh, and no animals are killed in the process. This wins!

Texas Caviar

Recipe yields lots, but it will stay good for at least a week in the fridge

1 can each (drained): pinto beans, black-eyed peas, black beans, shoepeg corn, fire-roasted jalapenos (Ortega)
1 red onion (chopped finely)
1 green pepper (chopped finely)
1 red pepper (chopped finely)
6 stalks of celery (chopped finely)

Marinade (double this if you're feelin' crazy):
1/2 c sugar (or Splenda... I don't use the entire 1/2 c)
1/2 c apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp garlic salt

1. Mix liquids and seasonings to make marinade.

2. Chop and mix in all other ingredients.

3. Refrigerate a few hours before serving.

4. Serve with tortilla chips... or anything else you see fit.

And for those of you who don't believe me about cilantro, even the Wall Street Journal agrees (ugh, tennis and WSJ mentioned in one post... I told you I was bourgie): http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123446387388578461.html

We are guardians of a rare thing

Doug and I conceived of this food blog back in September, but somehow managed to curb our narcissism for a few months. When he visited last week (on top of causing my academic life to spiral down the tubes) we decided it was finally time. All I can say is thank god we registered this domain name months ago before it was snatched up by someone else.

To kick it off we wanted to make something healthy and easy. We'd been drinking 40's of Colt 45 the night before which forces one to re-evaluate all aspects of life: we just wanted to feel like our old bourgie white selves again. I'm a "vegetarian," but Doug thinks that's lame so we compromised on fish. They're not cute, so it's fine.

Mahi Mahi Livornese, Sundried Tomato Couscous, Roasted Asparagus

First of all, I apologize for the word "livornese." It makes me cringe.

Mahi Mahi Livornese

Yields 4 servings

2 tbs olive oil

1/2 small onion, diced

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

5 whole canned tomatoes, drained and chopped (you can use a scissor for this... super kewl)

2 tbs capers

1/4 tsp red pepper flakes (or more if you like it spicay)

1/2 tbs chopped parsley

1 lb mahi mahi fillets

1 tbs fresh lemon juice

1. Preheat that oven to 400 degrees.

2. In a skillet, heat olive, garlic, and onion on medium heat until soft. Stir in tomatoes, capers, red pepper flakes, and parsley. Bring to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes.

3. Spread some of the sauce into a baking dish and arrange fish on top. Drizzle lemon juice on top of fish, then add the rest of the sauce.

4. Bake 15 min for 1/2 inch fillets and 30 min for 1 inch fillets. Dunzo.

Sundried Tomato Couscous

This is delicious and will last for a while in the fridge. I vaguely remember standing over this bowl at 3 AM with Doug as we attacked it with spoons.

Recipe yields... a lot.

3 cups couscous

3 cups water

1 tsp salt

2 tbs olive oil

1 jar sun dried tomatoes

1 bunch mint

1 large or 2-3 small cucumbers

1 small red onion

feta cheese (optional if you're one of those vegans)

1 large lemon

olive oil

1. Boil water. Pour couscous into a large bowl; add oil and salt. Pour boiling water on top. Stir and cover for 5 minutes. Remove cover and fluff well with a fork.

2. Chop mint and sun-dried tomatoes, reserving their oil, and add to serving bowl.

3. Chop cucumber and red onion and add to serving bowl.

4. Add couscous a little at a time, stirring well with a fork to combine.

5. Add lemon juice, salt and pepper, and olive oil. Toss to combine. Taste and season with more salt and pepper and lemon juice if necessary.

Roasted Asparagus and things

I always roast vegetables. Always. Usually I use balsamic, but according to Doug, balsamic is now frowned upon in the "foodie" world, so we stuck to just olive oil. Here's the recipe (super e-z):

Asparagus, cherry tomatoes, and onions

2 tbs olive oil

Sea salt

Cracked pepper

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Lay out veggies on a roasting pan. Cover in olive oil, sea salt, and pepper. Get in there with your hands.

3. Roast for 30 minutes.